Forgotten Passion
by Amber Vale
Summary: The new DADA teacher arrives at Hogswarts; she is a familiar face to the Potions Master. The girl whose love had been cruelly denied to him at school is here as woman and without the overprotective brother, Sirius.
1. Default Chapter

Forgotten Passion.  
  
Chapter One.  
  
"Professor Snape?"  
  
Severus stopped in his tracks and turned with a swoop of his black cloak.  
  
"Professor McGonnagol." He intoned in his drawling voice.  
  
"Oh I am so glad a caught you; could you please do me a favour? Can you please go and meet the new Muggles Studies professor from the boats? Professor Dumbledore asked me to go but one of the students from my house has fallen into the lake in on the crossing; you can hear how the wind is howling."  
  
Snape opened his mouth to reply but Professor McGonnagol was not the type to be brushed off; her request was more of a command really.  
  
"Fine;" he rolled his eyes; "what's their name?"  
  
Professor McGonnagol squinted through her half moon spectacles at a crumpled piece of paper:  
  
"Oh fibbery gibbets!" She exclaimed in frustration. "Professor Dumbledore really should learn to improve his handwriting, I think it's Andrew Block." Snape raised an eyebrow:  
  
"When did you say he graduated?"  
  
"No time for that Severus." She said hurrying down the corridor towards the hospital wing:  
  
"I'm sure you can ask him."  
  
Snape's face contorted into a grimace and he swept down the corridors to the entrance.  
  
The wind was indeed howling with avengence when Snape stepped outside of the castle; he drew his voluminous cloak tightly around him and walked down to where he could see the students disembarking from the boats. New students, bah: more knuckleheads to annoy him. Suddenly he stopped in his tracks; gracefully disembarking one of the boats aided by two identical looking red heads (Weasley's no doubt Snape thought to himself) was a blast from the past. There right in front of his eyes was the woman he hadn't seen for ten years but had thought about everyday since their graduation. That fool McGonnagol had read the name incorrectly from the piece of paper; it hadn't said Andrew Block it had said Amber Black! The girl he had loved to distraction whilst he had been a student at Hogwarts was stood here in the guise of an even more beautiful woman. He stood as if transfixed to the spot. The wind whipped her majestic, long ebony hair into the air surrounding her with a cloud blacker than the darkest night! From the meagre distance he stood away from her he could see her beautiful, azure eyes sparkling with laughter as one of the red headed boys made a joke; her laughter tinkled back to him on the wind; a sound he'd longed to hear for years! Tears formed in his eyes and were immediately blown away by the wind; faintly on the breeze he caught the minutest trace of the flowery yet spicy scent that he remembered so achingly well.  
  
She turned with such grace that it almost broke his heart; he'd imagined this moment for so long; and there it was the instant when she realised that he was stood there in rapt contemplation of the shadow of the girl who had broken his heart all those years ago. She stopped dead in her tracks and seemed to be momentarily transfixed to the spot. A wave of emotions played over her beautiful features;  
  
"Severus!" She exclaimed in delight, "I had no idea that you were a Professor here!"  
  
Her beautiful eyes lit up with a longing plain to see by all those who had suffered the pain of denied love.  
  
"Well I see that nothing has changed since school. Still only getting half the story." He snarled with slightly more than characteristic venom.  
  
He couldn't believe it! It had never been like this in his dreams! He had declared his love for her and she had swooned into his manly arms and he had whisked her off to his chambers in one swoop.  
  
Amber looked sceptical; he was still the same after all these years. Sallow and bitter, but despite it all her heart still yearned for his embrace. She just wanted him to hold her and say he loved her. She bit her lip in frustration and shook her head to regain her composure:  
  
"You haven't changed!" She beamed "So you were the one Albus sent to meet me. How curious!"  
  
"Shall we?" Snape snorted, "It's rather cold out here and I'd rather not catch a cold so early into the term."  
  
He turned and swept up steep incline to the entrance. Amber smiled and followed him delicately. It was very slippery and she did her best not to trip; that was all she needed, to arrive at Hogwarts looking bedraggled as well as windswept. Suddenly she lost her footing and floundered; he was there instantly beside her:  
  
"Do be careful; you don't want to end up in the infirmary on your first night." He muttered in what he hoped sounded like indifference. "Perhaps you should hold my arm."  
  
Amber looked up gratefully:  
  
"Thank you Severus." She smiled.  
  
They walked to the Great Hall in awkward silence and took their seats. The sorting ceremony began; the two red headed first years did indeed turn out to be Weasley's and were aptly placed into Griffindor; Amber shot them a congratulatory wink; that had been her house as well. Both her and her twin brother had been in Griffindor.  
  
The feast began and Amber soon found herself to be famished, as she ate her gaze kept drifting back to Severus' face time and time again, Lord did she want to hold him close and never let him go!  
  
"Amber." She shuddered in delight as Snape said her name quietly next to her. She could feel his breath on her cheek.  
  
"Severus." She replied. His look was quizzical and troubled.  
  
"You're still Amber Black.what happened to Lupin? The last I heard you were engaged; I just assumed that you'd get married after graduation." His eyes were haunted.  
  
"I haven't seen Remus for more than three years." She replied curtly. It hurt less if she said it quickly; she still felt the pangs of guilt keenly. "It didn't work; how could it. I couldn't handle...besides I didn't really love him enough to marry him. You should know that better than anyone." She looked at him intensely. He held her look for as long as he could bear and coughed awkwardly:  
  
"That was a long time ago; we were both different people then."  
  
"Maybe not so different." She looked back to her plate. 


	2. Snape remembers

Chapter 2.  
  
Severus Snape stretched luxuriantly in his vast, four post bed, he was happy for the first time in years. It had taken him a while to realise why but now he knew it was because of her! For years he had dreamed about Amber returning to Hogwarts and here she was; she was under the same roof as him for the first time in ten years. Snape had been so miserable when they had attended Hogwarts as students; there was no way that either of them could have been together then. He was a Slytherin and she was a Griffindor that was enough to have kept them apart to begin with but when you added her over protective twin brother, Sirius and his equally over bearing best friend, James Potter (who was as good as her brother) to the mix things became more than unlikely, they became impossible. Of course there was also the complication that for the whole of their school career Amber had been practically joined at the hip with Remus Lupin; the third member of the insanely close quartet.  
  
Snape smiled to himself as he remembered how he and Amber had routinely snuck out of their respective dorms at night to meet in secret. Back then they hadn't really realised what drew them to each other time after time. They had been paired up in potions class and had clicked immediately, a Slytherin and Griffindor friends? The notion was absurd and so they conducted their friendship in secret.  
  
Nothing ever happened between them; they were just friends. They were both too young to recognise they're feelings were those of love. Snape half laughed to himself at their complete and utter naivety. He'd only realised that he loved Amber late into their school career; they were all at the age where hormones raced and he would frequently see Remus and Amber in a passionate embrace in a private part of the school where the teachers never ventured. He remembered the first pang of jealousy he had felt when he had initially stumbled upon them seeking a quiet place to read. It had felt like a cold steel needle had pierced his heart; the image of Amber in the arms of one of his most hated peers was almost more than his fifteen-year- old heart could bear. It still hurt now. His sudden intrusion had startled them and Remus instantly rounded upon him hailing down curses. Snape remembered the look on Amber's face as clear as if it has been yesterday; sheer self-loathing. She looked as if she was on the verge of tears; her beautiful eyes sparkled with unspent tears. Snape had fled back to his dormitory his emotions in agony; he lay awake for weeks confused and wondering vainly what it would be like to touch his hand to that alabaster skin, to brush his lips against Amber's, to hold her close and inhale her perfume.what it would be like to possess her as his own and to be completely hers.  
  
Their next secret meeting had been strained; Amber was embarrassed at being caught with Remus and Snape was still writhing with jealousy. They hadn't been in the trophy room long when in burst Sirius Black in a fit of anger stronger than Snape had ever seen. He had attacked Snape in a fit of fury; Amber was screaming at him and trying to pull him off. She was sobbing in desperation Snape remembered that; then Remus and James were there holding him back. Snape remembered his indignation at Sirius and his loathing stirred again inside him. Then like a knife twisting in his gut he remembered the moment that had separated him from Amber forever. Remus turned to her and with the a look of sheer disbelief in his eyes asked:  
  
"Amber what are you doing here with him alone at night? I know that you've come here more than once?" His voice rang with emotion.  
  
Amber turned to Lupin and her brother, who was looking alternatively at Amber in utter disbelief and at Snape in pure loathing and answered;  
  
"Answer him!" growled Black in a terrible voice.  
  
"Hold on Padfoot!" Potter urged, "I am sure Growler can explain everything."  
  
Amber shot him a grateful look and turned back to Lupin and Sirius; if there was one good thing she was good at it was controlling her brother. This is the moment Snape thought when she tells them that we are.'friends' and nothing can change that!  
  
"I was helping him with his charms homework Professor Flitwick asked me especially. Snivillus here was too embarrassed to tell anyone that he needed tutoring and he didn't want to be seen with me so we did it in secret."  
  
She smiled innocently and laid a strategically placed hand on Remus' arm. He smiled and hugged her close. They were appeased; well Lupin and James were Sirius had seen the look of utter betrayal on Snape's face; his eyes had brimmed with tears and he choked them back and fled. He never met with Amber again after that. He'd see her in class and in the distance around the castle and (of course, he thought bitterly, for when Potter and Black were feeling bored and sought him out for a bit of 'fun') but he couldn't face seeing her and to be truthful she didn't try to see him.  
  
Snape sat up in bed; the memories still stung. He rubbed his eyes and found to his surprise that tears were falling freely. He sighed; how he wished he could show Amber the side of him that no one had seen. The side that she'd wounded so easily in an effort to preserve their forbidden friendship.love.  
  
He got out of bed and dressed slowly; he pulled back the curtains and the sun blazed through the windows. His spirit soared! It was different know there was no Sirius, James or Remus: only Amber and Himself and he knew deep down that their forgotten friendship could so easily be renewed! Snape knew that he was to proud to admit the hurt she had caused him and admit that he loved her but he'd rather have her in his life as a friend than not in his life at all. He smiled; a thing he rarely did, and left for breakfast. 


	3. Amber remembers

Chapter Three.  
  
Amber Black sat in the alcove by her window that overlooked the lake, the sun was blazing and it glittered off the slightly murky blue-green waters; the giant squid happily glided across the surface, Amber smiled to herself. It was good to be back; Hogwarts was the only real home she had ever really been happy in; with perhaps the exception of her and Sirius' stay at the Potter's home. They had treated them like their own children and for once she had truly known what it was like to have paternal love. Tears welled up in her eyes and fell freely; so much had changed since her carefree days at Hogwarts. Lily and James were dead, Remus was.well she didn't know; their break-up had been so messy. She had hurt him more than she could ever know and she felt her sorrow at losing her best friend like a knife-edge. She was angry with herself, why had she done that to him? A moment of madness? Worst of all, Sirius, her twin brother was imprisoned in Azkaban for the murder of the last of their small group of friends, Peter Pettigrew. It was the loss of Sirius that she felt the most; he was the other side of her being. Without him she wasn't complete; they were so close that they had a shared awareness; on particularly bad days she could feel his depths of depression and sorrow; it broke her heart. She was convinced that he was innocent. Sirius had not been perfect but he wasn't a murderer; not even under the circumstances.  
  
Hogwarts brought back so many painful memories and so many wonderful memories all at once and HE was here! Severus Snape, the man she loved even still. She closed her eyes and remembered how he was a school; even then he was sallow and bitter and prone to skulking in the dungeons of the school. She had been allowed a brief glimpse of the real Severus; that sensitive and caring side. He was a man capable of such intense and overwhelming emotion that it scared her. Even he had changed; one does not casually walk away from the inner circle of death eaters and not carry a few scars; both mental and physical. He was a shadow of his former self but deep down Amber saw the boy she had loved. Grief and pain had changed them both, perhaps for the best, perhaps for the worst, time would tell.  
  
She had hurt him badly (she seemed to hurt everyone she loved), she realised this bitterly and was determined to at least salvage a friendship from her time here at Hogwarts; if she could just make him smile that would be enough for her. If she could just tell him how sorry she was; how much she had wanted him then and how much more she still wanted him! It was the Marauder's who had prevented her from acting on her feelings at school; she loved them all so much and was so unwilling to incur their wrath. They hated Severus; the reason for such loathing she couldn't remember but it was almost inhuman, although it wasn't all one-sided Severus had hated them back. They were her only family and she would not have risked losing them for the world; James with his unshakable confidence and boyish arrogance, Sirius with his passion for life, Remus with his melancholy moods and loving nature, Lily with her sunny disposition and love for all people; even Peter with his hero worship of Sirius and James.  
  
Amber smiled and pictured them sitting on the grass under that tree on the far side of the grounds, the one they always went to. James was playing with his stolen snitch, Peter was watching with adoration, Sirius was reclining against the tree with his eyes closed and his long, black hair blowing in the breeze, Remus was reading (he was always reading) and she was lay next to him with her head comfortably in his lap; his free hand gently stroked her hair. She was laughing at James attempts to catch Lily's attention as she and her horde of giggling friends walked past. Lily tossed her auburn hair in contempt but Amber remembered the sidelong glances she threw James when she thought no one was looking! If she concentrated hard enough she could almost believe it was real! Then she opened her eyes and reality set in. Tears rolled down her pale cheeks like a river; her heart felt like it would break! More than anything she wanted Sirius there with her; to hold her and tell it would be okay; that they'd get through it together!  
  
There was a tentative knock at the door; desperate hope surged in her, Sirius? Had they let him go? Had he escaped? This desperation happened every time someone knocked on her door and each time it was cruelly dashed but every time she hoped against hope that this time he would be stood there; grinning sheepishly as if nothing had happened. She flung the door open and there stood not Sirius, her brother but Severus, her forbidden love. Her heart sank and then flipped; the crushing disappointment was counter balanced with the joy of seeing him in her doorway. She could do nothing but stand and weep uncontrollably, the abilities speech and movement had disappeared. She stood and wept. 


	4. Forgiveness?

Chapter Four.  
  
Serverus stood dumbstruck; he had walked up and down the corridor outside Amber's rooms four times before he had mustered the courage to knock on the door and when he finally had here she was; a picture of despair. This was not how he was used to seeing her, at school nothing could remove her smile from her face and yet here she was the picture of despair. His mind raced what should he do?  
  
"Hold her you fool!" a part of his mind shouted.  
  
"Walk away!" Screamed that peevish part of him that she had wounded so long ago.  
  
He reached out for her delicate frame carefully, he expected her to pull away in disgust but to his surprise and delight she fell into his embrace and wept as if her heart would break. He began to stroke her hair in what he hoped was a gesture of comfort; he wanted to take her pain away. To staunch this well of tears; to hurt whoever had hurt her so badly, Lupin he thought to himself angrily.  
  
"Shhh, it will be okay." He whispered. His heart felt heavy, whatever was hurting her he recognised as a hurt that could not be easily healed.  
  
"No it won't!" She sobbed into his chest, she was shaking violently, Snape guided her into her room and closed the door, and students were beginning to walk down the corridor. He sat her down on the bed but did not stop holding her, he was afraid that he would wake up and it would be a dream.  
  
"It will never be okay again, James, Lily and Peter are dead, my brother is as good as dead in that hell hole and I've hurt my best friend and the man I love so much that they'll never forgive me!" she shuddered with emotion.  
  
'They'll'? The word jolted in his mind, could she mean what he thought she did? Then which was he? The best friend or the man she loved? Dare he hope? Now was not the time to pursue the issue but he stored it away for future reference.  
  
Amber suddenly lifted her tear stained face to his;  
  
"Oh Serverus can you ever forgive me?" She pleaded as she touched his cheek tenderly, tears still rolling down her now flushed cheeks. "I never meant to hurt you! I never meant to hurt anyone!"  
  
His heart lurched into his throat;  
  
"Of course I can!" He breathed pulling her into a tight embrace, why was she the only woman who didn't stir his contempt? How was she able to control him so completely? He didn't care, he was living for now and at that moment of time a beautiful and wonderful woman was encircled in his arms asking him to forgive her.  
  
Hope rose in his heart, perhaps there was hope for their friendship after all! 


	5. Stubborness

Chapter Five.  
  
The weather was fair yet blustery as Amber looked out of her window on the morning of the first Hogsmeade trip of term. She hadn't been to Hogsmeade for years and she could hardly contain her excitement. Her emotions tumbled around in her stomach uncomfortably as she fastened her dark, blue velvet cloak securely around her shoulders; mixed with the incredible excitement was an uncomfortable feeling that the past was going to up jump to surprise her around every corner. Hogsmeade held so many memories, good and bad. She shook her head to clear her mind and left her room in search of Severus. He had made some excuse about not wanting to go on the trip as he had too much marking but Amber was determined that she was going to get him along today. She wanted him there with her as a companion and as a way to further they're newly awakened friendship but also because she was anxious about the feelings that Hogsmeade would stir within her; Severus made her fell safe, if he was with her she knew she could face anything.  
  
The corridors down to the dungeon were deserted the student had already left eager to get to the village and make their purchases of goodies from Honeydukes and Zonko's. Amber smiled as she remembered that Sirius and James had probably been the best customers at the notorious joke shop. She knocked tentatively on the door, there was no answer, Amber pursed her lips into a pout; fine. If he wanted to play it like this then she would rise to the challenge. She drew herself up and knocked harder.  
  
"I am busy. Come back later." Severus' voice drawled from inside. Instead of walking away she knocked again, harder this time.  
  
"I said I am busy. Go away!" She smiled; he sounded irritated now.  
  
Suppressing a giggle, she knocked again forcefully. Just as she expected the door flew open and Severus glared out in annoyance; he opened his mouth to issue a curt reprimand when his eyes fell on the persistent visitor.  
  
"Good Morning Severus." She beamed pushing past him into his office. "Are you ready to come to Hogsmeade?"  
  
Severus blinked; she hadn't changed. Even at school Amber had a reputation for getting what she wanted. His irritation flared again:  
  
"I told you I'm much to busy for such foolishness. I have all these scrolls to mark for Monday." He gestured sharply to the table that was scattered with piles of parchment bedaubed with students' scratchy handwriting.  
  
"Then do them tomorrow." Amber replied "I want you to come to Hogsmeade with me; you're looking positively dyspeptic you need some fresh air."  
  
She smiled again; God she was beautiful when she smiled but not even this would curb Severus' annoyance with being interrupted and railroaded into doing something that he didn't want to do.  
  
"I'll be too far behind if I leave them today; besides what is there for me in Hogsmeade. I think I'm quite past the novelty and thrill of Zonko's." He sneered.  
  
"Come on Severus," Amber wheedled, "a bit of fun won't do you any harm."  
  
She raised her eyes coyly and blinked through her eyelashes girlishly. Severus' anger flared at her shameless attempts to get her own way; a lot of his anger came from the fact that it had nearly worked!  
  
"Amber I am much to busy now will you stop bothering me and go and play with someone else!" He snapped angrily.  
  
Amber's eyes flashed dangerously and blue flashes of light flickered through her ebony hair: Severus had to admit that she was adorable when she was angry; he's forgotten that her hair had flashed when she was angry:  
  
"Fine suit yourself. Rot away for all I care." She stormed past him like a petulant child, Severus called angrily after her:  
  
"And don't even think about slamming that." The door slammed and the noise reverberated throughout the dungeon, "door." Severus rolled his eyes and went back to marking his scrolls.  
  
Amber stalked through the corridors muttering under her breath some choice insults she wished could have used on him but hadn't thought of until afterwards. She mentally made a note of this and stored them away for later use. She sighed at least the day wasn't wasted; she would go to Hogsmeade and face her memories on her own.  
  
Severus stared at the piece of parchment he was marking; he seemed to have read the same sentence a dozen times or more. The sun was warm on his back through the window although it wasn't all that warm outside. He gazed out of the window longingly; he had wanted to go to Hogsmeade but he was too proud to admit that to Amber. He pushed the scroll away from him angrily and began to pace the room in an effort to regain his composure. Why was it that she could get under his skin quicker than anyone he had ever met? Why did he let her do it to him time and time again? He ran his hand over his face troubled, he looked out of the window again and watched the trees being blown about by the blustery wind.  
  
"To hell with it." He muttered as he grabbed his cloak and left the room in a sweep of black. 


	6. Hogsmeade memories

Chapter six.  
  
Amber walked through the small streets of Hogsmeade in a daze; it was just how she remembered it. The air of excitement that hung in the air was still there, the shrill laughter of the students was still audible, the smell of Honeydukes and The Three Broomsticks still pervaded the air and made her mouth water uncontrollably. It was not to these places that her feet were drawn however; she walked on almost as if she was in trance. Up the slope she went unaware of how the wind was whipping at her cloak and hair. There it was, the Shrieking Shack; the memories flooded back. Remus as a Werewolf: angry and violent tearing up the furniture and howling so terribly, a sound of pain and frustration. The picture in her mind's eye expanded and there was James in his stag form and Sirius as a great black dog and next to them she saw herself in the form she hadn't used in years; a great grey wolf with a silvery ruff. Tears welled in her eyes and the wind blew them away quickly, her heart sank the memories of Remus pained her, especially after what she had done to him. She turned to and came face to face with Severus:  
  
"I'm sorry I should have made my presence known, but you looked like you didn't want disturbing." He said quietly.  
  
Amber smiled:  
  
"I thought you were too busy?"  
  
"Couldn't concentrate thinking about the novelty of Zonko's and Honeydukes." He smiled whimsically. "Come on let's get a drink it's freezing up her."  
  
Amber nodded and together they walked arm in arm down the slope to the Three Broomsticks. Amber paused slightly before the entrance to the pub:  
  
"What's wrong?" Severus asked her.  
  
"It's just I haven't been here since well since you know, what happened to Peter." She looked pale and worried; "and well everyone is going to look at me as the murderer's twin sister." She took a step back. "I don't know if I can do it; I've been bombarded by so many memories today."  
  
"You can't avoid it forever." Severus whispered, "I'm here it will be okay."  
  
He placed his arm around her waist and steered her gently towards the door opening it for her as she went.  
  
The inside of the Three Broomsticks was just as she remembered it; warm and cosy. Her stomach lurched as a dozen memories hit her hard as she stood in the doorway. Severus still had his arm around her and it was comforting, a lifeline. There was a hushed silence as the gaze of the patrons fell upon her figure. Rosmerta stood at the bar a jug of butterbeer in her hand as if frozen to the spot. She shook her head and called across the pub:  
  
"Well if it isn't little Amber Black! Get yourself over here my girl." Rosmerta swept across the floor in a blur of pink robes and sparkly heels and pulled Amber into a tight embrace.  
  
"Where have you been my girl? You and you're troop of friends were always my favourite customers! How you made me laugh! Look at you girl you're all skin and bones what are they feeding you at that school" She gushed steering her to a table near the bar.  
  
It was more than Amber could bear; she began to weep, Severus was there at her side a comforting hand laid over hers:  
  
"Oh what's wrong my dear?" Rosmerta exclaimed "Did I say something wrong?"  
  
"Oh No!" Amber sobbed "It's just I was so worried that everyone would judge me by what Sirius.by what.well you know." She smiled weakly through her tears.  
  
"Of course not honey." Rosmerta said gently, "Silly girl."  
  
"Would you like a drink Amber?" Severus asked from next to her. Amber turned to him still holding his hand.  
  
"Just a butterbeer please." She smiled wiping her eyes with the other hand.  
  
"Oh never mind that Severus, this one's on the house." Rosmerta grinned. "An incentive to make her come back and see me more."  
  
"I'll come and get them." Severus said following her to the bar.  
  
Severus leant on the bar watching Amber become more and more at ease with the hustle and bustle of the pub. Occasionally someone would approach her and they would talk to her; colour was gradually returning to her cheeks.  
  
"She's even more beautiful than I remember Severus." Rosmerta said making Severus start suddenly.  
  
"You thought that too?" He said smiling slightly. Rosmerta gave him a penetrating look and leant closer to him:  
  
"Don't screw it up this time." She said in a half whisper. Severus looked back at her unblinking:  
  
"Don't worry I don't intend too." He said taking the drinks from Rosmerta and turning to rejoin Amber. 


	7. The trouble with Lucius

Chapter seven  
  
It was like a dream; here she was sat in the Three Broomsticks as if nothing had ever happened. She had so many memories of this quaint and homely little pub. Sirius, James, Remus and herself (closely followed by Peter) would always make straight for the far booth after they had spent too much money in Zonko's and Honeydukes. Sirius and James would always be fooling around and making Rosmerta giggle; she remembered with a half laugh the time James had accidentally dropped his bag of dungbombs and filled half the pub with an acrid stench. Rosmerta had laughed at them so hard as they struggled away from the centre of the smell. Those were the days, she shook her head to clear her thoughts, it did not help to dwell in the past. What mattered was the present; she was here with Severus and she meant to make the most of this lull in his defences. Then her past walked through the door. She gasped; not now of all times, of all people, why him!?  
  
"Lucius." Severus smiled, "Come and join us."  
  
Lucius Malfoy as always immaculately dressed, not a hair out of place swept across the pub towards their table like a bat; Amber took a deep breath and turned around. Her stomach flipped slightly as she noted how good-looking he still was; it was his arrogant air and commanding presence that had got her into trouble in the first place. She was unreasonably pleased when she saw him start slightly as he took in her features.  
  
"Amber, it has been a long time." A slow smile crept across his pale features, "too long in fact."  
  
Amber began to blush uncontrollably as Lucius took the seat across from her; it was only then that she realised that Severus still had his hand on hers under the table; somehow that strengthened her resolve.  
  
"Perhaps." She replied.  
  
"How is dear Remus these days." Lucius drawled obviously amused. "He was rather distracted last time I saw him. Then again as I remember so were we."  
  
Amber blushed furiously now; she was so angry with him. In that moment she could have throttled him, she felt Severus remove his hand. That hurt; she was alone now with her shame. An image flashed in front of her eyes; Remus stood in the doorway of their bedroom; his face filled with betrayal. Why had she been so stupid; all for a cheap thrill. Oh but it had been good; no matter what Lucius Malfoy might be he was everything she had expected and more when she had taken him to her bed. The sex had been amazing. It had been so passionate that they had lost themselves completely in it; they were not aware of anything but the rhythm of their oscillating bodies. How long Remus had been stood there she didn't know; hot tears of embarrassment welled in her eyes;  
  
"I don't know; I haven't seen him since that night." She said staring defiantly at him, god he was still gorgeous. It was that sneering smile that undid her every time. She was so confused; Severus sat looking shell- shocked; his face was a mixture of disgust and surprise. On one hand she was drawn physically to Lucius and on the other Severus held her fast by the heart; and that didn't mean that she didn't feel sexually towards him either. It was too much to bear:  
  
"I have to go." She whispered hoarsely. "Lucius, go home to Narcissa. I'll see you back at the school Severus."  
  
She swept out of the pub as quickly as her feet would carry her trying to maintain an air of dignity. Once outside the pub and safely on the way back to Hogwarts the tears began to fall freely. They were tears of anger and shame. She had hurt Remus so much; he hadn't done anything. He didn't try to curse Lucius; he didn't hit him, he didn't scream, he just said in a deathly quiet voice:  
  
"Get out of my house now."  
  
Lucius had left rather swiftly, probably more worried that his escapades would reach back to the ears of Narcissa than of Remus doing anything. Then again maybe he was worried Remus would bite him. 


	8. The Kiss

Chapter Eight  
  
Amber lay on her bed looking at the patterns on the ceiling; she was infuriated with herself. She'd ruined things between Severus and herself with something that she had done years before. She could try and justify her actions by saying that she had been going through a rough patch with Remus. That he didn't understand her. Perhaps that had been true but the real truth of it was that she had wanted Lucius. Oh she had really wanted him and had relished their moments together. So what if he was married to her cousin, Narcissa, what had that mattered? It wasn't as if she had actively pursued him; he had done the chasing. If she were honest with herself she would have to reluctantly admit that she hadn't needed much persuasion really. There was a quiet knock at her door. Slowly she got up and went to the door, to her surprise Severus was stood in the doorway.  
  
"Erm come in." She said blushing again. "Would you like a drink?"  
  
"No I'm okay thank you." He said quietly in his drawling voice. "Amber."  
  
"Look Severus I'm not proud of what I did." She interrupted looking resolutely out of the window. "It just happened, I know what you're thinking and no I'm not proud of it. It was sex, plain and simple. Yes I'm sorry we got caught, I'm sorry I even considered sleeping with him and most of all I'm sorry I hurt Remus but I'm not the first woman to have an affair and I won't be the last. Yes I know he's my cousin's husband and yes I'm aware of what he was or is but."  
  
Severus exclaimed in exasperation. "I came to see if you were okay. I could see that Malfoy upset you; I was worried about you."  
  
"What?" She turned around to face him.  
  
Severus looked at her intensely. It was now or never; he'd taken that step to far today. He couldn't go back; he didn't want to go back. As he had sat there in the Three Broomsticks Lucius had filled him in on the details of their short-lived affair. He had found that he was not disgusted or shocked but that he was jealous. Jealous that another man could touch her, that anyone other than him could hold her. He had left as soon as was polite; something had snapped inside him; he wanted her and he wanted her now. He had waited long enough.  
  
He took a step towards her; he hesitated for a fraction of a second and then pulled her close to him; to his delight she didn't resist, she melted against him. This was it the moment he had waited for since he had seen her kiss Remus when they were fifteen. He looked into her sapphire eyes drinking in their colour; slowly he moved his head closer to her face. There lips were almost touching now; he could feel her longing, as he knew she must have been feeling his own. It was too much to bear he pushed his lips upon hers and kissed her deeply. It was as if something had exploded within them; suddenly they were in a passionate embrace; tongues probing, hands removing clothes, caressing bare skin. He guided her skilfully to the bed and his last bit of control dissolved; over ten years of waiting and fantasizing flowed through their willing bodies. 


End file.
